I wanna bring you to show and tell
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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