We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
