i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Randomize