After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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