sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
