TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
