OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
