Me too!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
