dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
