another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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