And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize