Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
