His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize