he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
