i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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