it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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