My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
