so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
