Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
