Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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