I've blown a few things in my day
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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