Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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