I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
