I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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