i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
