I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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