Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
