How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
