I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
