How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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