I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
