They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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