He kissed a someone with a penis
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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