I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
True strength comes from lack of pants
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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