No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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