i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
