Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize