found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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