I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
