so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
