Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
