he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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