i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
