well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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