my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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