dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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