The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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