So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
