I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
