what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize