What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
