I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
