apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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