Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
