I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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