So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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