I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
