If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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