just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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