Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
