I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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