Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
