How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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