had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
