Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
